THE PORTUGUESE ARTISTS COLONY: penile sentencingPosted: January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
What makes you blush? Colonists who gather at the Fivepoints Arthouse each week to “engage in the disreputable act of writing,” can confess: good old red-blooded male phalluses.
This monthly reading series isn’t for the vestal virgins. The evening of the 23rd was themed “blush,” and the artists who presented their work made sure no cheek was left un-rouged.
Upon entering the gallery, you become part of the democratic spectacle that is LIVE WRITING. Each attendee votes on the prompt they wish to see a gang of writers sweat over for ten minutes during the show. Once the buzzer sounds and the writers have sufficient arthritis, they read their pieces one by one and the audience votes again on which piece gets developed for next month’s show.
On Sunday, host Caitlin Myer was a contender, along with Matt Stewart, a self-proclaimed “pusher of people into bathroom stalls,” (whose novel The French Revolution was released on Twitter!), poet and novelist Julia Penrose (who was the only person up there to brave it out sans Microsoft), and Daniel Heath, badass bartender and devout colonist. The elected prompt was “My mom is driving me to prison,” (can anybody say shower scene?). Matt Stewart won with his first-person account of a cokehead sharing a bottle of scotch with his mom in the front seat on the way to the slammer. Cary Tennis sentenced Stewart to develop his piece in a period not to exceed thirty days, at which point he is remanded back to the colony for his day in court, February 27.
November’s winner, Andrew O. Dugas, took the audience on a journey into the horny adult male psyche, complete with sadistic safety pins and awkward coworker fantasies. “One broken zipper tooth is all it takes” to make Andrew blush. Check out his winning piece here, but make sure your fly is securely fastened!
Founding colonist Cary Tennis killed it with a taboo tale that would make Ron Jeremy blush. He begins by announcing, “I was picking my nose and fucking the dog when my mom walked in.” Do yourself a favor and check out this lewd and lascivious story about an unwanted guest living underneath Tennis’ scrotum.
Guest reader and founding colonist, Benjamin Wachs shared two pieces about unconfident first date inner monologues. His accurate and honest words echo, “a date isn’t a therapy session!”
Featured reader Alia Volz had the audience sitting erect as she spun a tale in the voice of a renegade old folks home resident hell-bent on seducing her bionic Romeo. “Maybe you could leave a little to the imagination,” he begged, sweating through his shirt as his face flushed strawberry red. Alia is known to SPIT BLOOD, and this piece definitely doesn’t get soft.
Throughout the evening, Rachel Fannan provided the soundtrack along with her bassist, Michaela and her loopstation. Fannan’s deep twangy electric slides paired with angelic whispy vocals put the live writers into a trance as they feverishly worked. Her love songs were vapory and understated, reminiscent of Sea of Bees. Check it out here.
Be sure to attend next month’s installment on February 27th, with Tim Bauer, Tanya Egan Gibson, musical guests, Fox & Woman (singing in Portuguese!), and hear Matt Stewart’s finished piece that won’t fail to entertain you!